TITLE: Brazo's Speeder
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (email@example.com)
SUMMARY: Humor. Pre-TPM. Obi-Wan is 13. Non-Slash. Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Bren are invited to a day out with Brazo. That's just when things start to go wrong.
ARCHIVE: Please ask me first.
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.
(Brazo, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wandered towards the speeder. It was early and the docking bay was relatively quiet.)
Obi: I get shotgun!
Qui: No, you get the back.
Obi: I can't see anything from there. I'm too short.
Qui: Tough. Bren gets the front seat, whenever she decides to show up. Where is she, Brazo?
Brazo: Something about an eye appointment with the healers. Although it's a bit early in the morning for that.
Obi: This is beyond early. This is yesterday. Can I go back to bed?
Qui: I thought you wanted to get out for the day? And Terran did tell me to get you out in the sun more often.
Brazo: And, Obi-Wan, my speeder has a convertible top. Nothing like the wind in your hair as you fly the skies.
(A voice from behind got their attention.)
Bren: And nothing like a little blue smoke up your nose to clean out your senses. Brazo, we are not riding in that thing you call a speeder are we?
(Bren approached, her eyes watering.)
Obi: Master Bren, it's not that bad. No reason to cry about it. I thought you were the tough one here. All that time you had me believing that women were stronger. And now I see you just sobbing away simply because of Master Brazo's choice in speeders.
Bren: Obi-Wan, I am not crying. I just came from an appointment with Healer Terran. I had my eyes checked. And in order to do that, he needed to dilate them. So he had put these drops in. I'll be fine in a couple hours.
Obi: Oh, uh...just ignore my little rant then.
Qui: Wait a minute. Back the truck up. Women are stronger? Bren, have you been filling his brain with that nonsense again?
Bren: Excuse me? Nonsense? Look here, Mr. Perfect...
Brazo: Okay, okay. You two can have your domestic squabble later. Let's hit the skies before rush hour traffic starts.
Obi: Master, can I sit in the front now? Master Bren can't see anything so she won't mind the back seat.
Qui: No, I want you in the back where I can keep an eye on you. If you get out of control, I'll be there to reel you in.
Obi: You can't reel me in, Master. You've tried. It only exhausts you. I'm thirteen. You are...um...older. I have the advantage.
Brazo: Obi-Wan, get in the speeder. Let's go, my friends. Your chariot awaits.
Bren: Brazo, don't call it that. I just ate not too long ago. You'll make me lose my breakfast. I may not be able to see much right now, but that thing is not a chariot. It barely passes as a speeder.
Brazo: It has feelings, Bren.
Bren: I think you've been hanging around the kid to long. You're starting to lose touch with reality.
(They piled into the speeder. Brazo put the top down, and allowed the cool morning air to wash over them. Destination, Coruscant Parklands. A good two-hour flight, but the only place on the planet that resembled anything other than a city. It was a huge forested park, complete with a small lake and trails of all sorts. Brazo knew his friends would love it. But it was only thirty minutes into the journey when the first mishap occurred. The speeder began to sputter. As Brazo struggled to set it down, it died completely and they landed with a loud thud.)
Bren: Don't make me say I told you so.
Brazo: I will handle this. It's just a small problem. Happens all the time. Nothing that these magic hands can't fix. She just needs a little love is all.
Bren: Obi-Wan, did you see any blue smoke before the engine failed?
Obi: I think we left a trail of the stuff that leads back to the temple. At least we can follow that to find our way home.
(Brazo was now out of the speeder and opening the engine compartment. More smoke poured out. The big Jedi stood back, crossed his arms and stared thoughtfully at the engine.)
Bren: Oh, great mechanical one, what seems to be the problem?
Brazo: Never rush a genius. This takes patience.
(As they waited for Brazo to attempt to fix the mechanical failure, Obi-Wan took a glance at the sky. Several dark clouds seemed to be wandering above them.)
Obi: Master, is it supposed to rain? It looks like it might.
(Qui-Gon was about to answer, but was prevented from doing so by the voice coming from the engine compartment.)
Brazo: I checked the weather forecast before we left. No chance of rain today. Don't worry. I have everything under control. A little trust here would be nice.
(Obi-Wan leaned towards his master.)
Obi: I don't think Master Brazo knows what he's doing.
Qui: Hush, Obi-Wan. He's doing his best. Bren, how are your eyes? Any better?
Bren: Sure, now instead of big dark blur, I see a big light blur.
Obi: That sounds so...familiar.
(They were interrupted be the slam of the engine cover.)
Brazo: I got it! All fixed.
(He climbed in the speeder and pressed the ignition button. Nothing.)
Brazo: Damn. To bad Steevan isn't here. I could use his advice. I thought I had things fixed.
Bren: Steevan? You mean, Bluwool, the temple communications guy?
Brazo: Yes. He's a good friend of mine. And shares my enjoyment for repairing things. We're kinda like a team when it comes to getting this speeder up and running.
Obi: I met him once. He tried to teach me the communication system, but it didn't take long before I was completely lost. I tell you one thing, he sure likes to talk. He and I went back and forth for hours. To bad he's not a Jedi. I'd like to be his padawan.
Obi: Sorry, Master. But he's a cool guy. He doesn't mind when my lips start flying. And he's a much better storyteller than you are. Get this, he doesn't run from me or tell me to 'shut up, Obi-Wan' when I talk.
Qui: Brazo, will we be able get this thing started or should we call for assistance?
(At once, Brazo was out of the speeder again and sticking his head into the engine area.)
Brazo: Oh, okay. I see the problem. There's a wire here that's not connected to anything. That seems wrong. Doesn't it?
Bren: Don't ask us. You're the genius, remember?
Brazo. Funny. One second. There. It's connected.
Bren: To what?
Brazo: Something that looked in need of a connection.
(This time, the engine sputtered to a start.)
Obi: I see blue smoke. It's a go.
Brazo: I told you I could do this. Buckle in everyone. Let me show you what this baby can do.
Bren: Outrunning a hutt is not out of the question. Not so sure about a bantha though.
(They continued on for another hour. The engine stopped again.)
Bren: Perhaps it was a bad idea to come with you on this little journey.
Brazo: She's not fully warmed up yet.
Qui: Brazo, exactly how long does it take to warm this thing up?
Brazo: First of all, it's not a thing. It's a speeder. Second...it takes...uh...
Bren: Half the day. Get out, Brazo. Fix it. Again.
(As the group waited for Brazo to investigate the newest engine trouble, an approaching speeder caught Obi-Wan's eye. It closed in slowly on them and landed not to far behind. A tall, stocky man with glasses hopped out and hurried to Brazo's side.)
Steevan: Need any help?
Brazo: Steevan! We were just talking about you not to long ago. My old girl's having problems again. She doesn't seem to want to stay running.
Steevan: I'll stand back here and see if I can observe anything from this distance. You go ahead and get to work.
Brazo: These wires are old. They might be the problem.
Steevan: Good call, Brazo. I think you're on to something.
(The repair continued. Obi-Wan, bored to tears, finally got out of the speeder and wandered over to the two men working on the engine.)
Obi: Hi, Mr. Bluwool. Remember me?
Steevan: Kenobi. Of course I do. You are the only person on this planet who can out talk me.
Obi: At least someone appreciates my talent. Would you like to hug me?
Steevan: Uh, no. Not right now. I'm kinda busy.
Obi: You're standing here staring at Master Brazo while he works on the engine.
Steevan: I am assisting.
Obi: You are watching.
Steevan: Moral support.
Obi: More like taking up space.
Steevan: I am key to this operation. Just ask Brazo.
Obi: I would, but he's busy kicking the crap out of the rear engine panel.
(The engine started.)
Steevan: A trick he learned from me.
Brazo: I knew that would work. Thanks for all your help, Steevan. We must be off now.
(They began again. Brazo suddenly glanced at his wrist chrono, then took a sharp detour from their forward flight path.)
Bren: Brazo, please. My eyes have finally cleared enough for me to see more than blurs. I don't want to follow that by dying. Where are we going?
Brazo: I forgot. I have to pick up someone.
Brazo: A...uh...friend. (His cheeks reddened a bit.)
Bren: Friend, huh? Hmmm...
Obi: Master Brazo, you're face is getting redder. My master looks like that when he and Master Bren start talking about adult mush.
Obi: Sorry. Who are we going to see?
Brazo: I told you. A friend. She is just a friend.
Obi: Mmmmm. Master Brazo's in love. More adult mush. Just what my innocent eyes don't need to see.
Qui: Don't start on the innocent routine.
Bren: Brazo, I didn't know you had a lady in your life right now. That's wonderful. Who is she?
Brazo: Mari Deril.
Obi: That cranky woman who runs the Archives? Oh please. She always gives me a bunch of lip when I am there. Telling me I talk too much. Talk too loud.
Qui: Padawan, you do talk too much and talk to loud.
Obi: That's beside the point, Master. When I ask her for help, she...she just doesn't like me. And she always makes me do my research at that desk where Master Dorko's sculpture is. I know he was your master and all, but he gives me the creeps. When I see that thing, I hear this voice in my head. It says, 'Join me, Obi-Wan. And together we can defeat the Sith.' Do you think he's talking about Master Yoda? Maybe he means defeat the Sith troll. I'd like to do that. Maybe I should join him, Master.
Qui: Obi-Wan, Master Dooku is not on Coruscant. Therefore he could not be talking to you.
Obi: Oh yeah, I bet he stands behind that statue of himself and whispers strange things like that to unsuspecting padawans who come in without their masters. Was he a ventriloquist in his first life?
Qui: How did we get on the subject of my old master?
Obi: We were talking about Master Brazo's girlfriend.
Brazo: Not my girlfriend. Just my uh...um...
Bren: Would you just admit it and stop being so shy. Obi-Wan won't blab it all over the temple. Right, kid?
Brazo: By tomorrow morning, everyone on the planet will know.
Bren: So what. Mari is a good person. She's a bit short for you, but you need someone.
Obi: Are you gonna kiss her when you see her?
Qui: Obi-Wan, please. Don't make Brazo's face change colors anymore. Brazo, where are you picking her up?
Brazo: The Plaza.
Obi: Good job, Master. I've taught you well.
Bren: Problem, Stretch?
Qui: You do remember the day that Obi-Wan and I spent at the plaza recently? And how I didn't sleep for days after that. My nights were filled with horrible dreams. I dreamed that I was forced to walk until my legs eventually fell off. That place makes me anxious.
Obi: Just close your eyes, Master. I'll tell you when it's okay to open them. You won't have to look.
Qui: Make it quick, Brazo.
(The huge plaza loomed in the distance. They closed in. The engine sputtered slightly. And again. Then it died.)
Bren: You know, this is quickly becoming a not so enjoyable trip.
Brazo: Don't worry. I can fix it.
(A familiar voice from behind startled them.)
Steevan: Let me fix that for you.
Steevan: Hi, Brazo. I thought you could use my help again.
Brazo: Always. Let's see what we can do with this thing.
(Obi-Wan whispered to Qui-Gon and Bren.)
Obi: Either this man is stalking us, or he's cloned himself several times. How did he know where to find us? And that the speeder would break down here?
Qui: Just a coincidence, Obi-Wan. Albeit, a very odd one.
(Qui-Gon looked up just in time to see Mari Deril hurrying towards them.)
Mari: Hi guys! I thought I recognized that blue smoke. Brazo!
(Brazo turned around and smiled. His face flushed red again.)
Obi: Hide me, Master. I don't need another lecture from her about how to research.
Qui: Sorry, Obi-Wan. You are on your own. My robe is not big enough for the two of us.
(Mari was greeted with a brief hug from her friend. They both then turned towards the rest of the group.)
Brazo: Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Bren, Steevan. I know that you each know Mari. She is the Temple Archives Technician.
(Mari wasted no time finding the youngest of the group and staring him down with an evil glare.)
Obi: What? I didn't do anything wrong. I'm allowed to talk here. This is not the archives. I don't have to be silent. I don't have to stare at Master Dorko. Why are you looking at me like that?
Mari: Revenge for all the problems you cause me when you enter the archive doors.
Obi: A little disruption is good for the soul. Too much quiet can make people unsocial. I am only helping my fellow Jedi.
(She pulled her gaze away from the boy and directed it to the master.)
Mari: He did tell you that he's no longer allowed into the archives without supervision. Did he not?
Qui: No, he didn't. What is the reason?
Mari: Because the last time he was there, he spent almost an hour going from desk to desk, asking everyone there if they wanted to hug him. Jedi don't come there for hugs. They come to research. They can hug on their own time.
Obi: She's just upset because most of them were glad to hug me. It's sad how many Jedi these days are mush starved. Some of them practically begged me for a hug.
Mari: They weren't begging for a hug. They were begging you to go away. That's why they hugged you. It was the only way to get you away from them.
Bren: I hate to break up this wonderful getting to know each other scene, but is the speeder operating yet?
Steevan: Not yet, but I believe if Brazo takes that yellow wire and twists it with the blue one, things will be firing. I think that's why it keeps dying on you. You are twisting the wrong wires.
Brazo: I've tried blue and yellow before. That doesn't do anything but make me think of the color green. Hmm...how about connecting the two green wires together?
Steevan: Interesting theory. Are you sure the green on green won't cause a dangerous spark?
Brazo: The green wires are safe. I know, I've accidentally cut into one before.
Steevan: Take a shot. The worst that can happen then is that the engine will die again.
Bren: STOP IT! Both of you. Just do it, Brazo. Obi-Wan, give Mari a break. Qui-Gon, get control of your apprentice and yourself. Steevan, uh...keep doing whatever it is that you do.
Steevan: I coordinate temple communications.
Bren: Yes, I realize that. So how is it that you keep popping up when the speeder breaks down? Don't you have some communications to coordinate?
Steevan: Brazo needed my help.
Bren: But how did you know that?
Steevan: I'm good.
Bren: Right. Can we just twist the wires and go, please? Qui-Gon is starting to look a bit shaky here. I think being this close to the plaza is stressing him out.
Qui: Don't make me go back in there. Please. Padawan, I beg you. I'll do anything. I'll pat you on the shoulder. I'll ruffle your hair. I'll even put my arm around you. Just please...I can't take this. Someone get me away from here. It's...it's...calling me.
Obi: Master, I had so much fun that day. Well, except for the whole 'I can't find a bathroom' deal. Can we go...uh...did you say you'd do anything to get away from the plaza? Anything?
Qui: Yes. I promise. I just don't want to be here any longer. My heart rate is up. My blood pressure is in my ears. Obi-Wan, please.
Obi: You'll do anything? You mean you'll...hug me?
Obi: I don't know if they can fix the speeder this time. We might not get away from here.
Qui: Yes. I'll...I'll hug you.
Qui: Don't stretch it.
Obi: Maybe I'll just go do a little shopping while they fix the engine.
Qui: Okay, twice. Just get me out of here.
Obi: Woohoo! (Obi-Wan leaped out of the speeder and hurried to where the group was standing. He pushed Brazo out of the way.) Sorry, Master Brazo. I'll take over. I've got mush on the way if I can get this thing operating.
Brazo: Obi-Wan, no. You don't know all the special tricks that I use. The way I have to sweet talk her to make things right.
Obi: You mean the way you have to kick the engine panel to make it go?
Steevan: I told you that trick would work.
Obi: Sorry. Mush is on the line. Outta my way people.
(Within several minutes, the apprentice had the speeder up and running. At that time, Steevan suddenly disappeared.)
Obi: That's just...odd. And creepy. Everyone in. Don't argue with me. We have two minutes to get away from this place. Before the veins in Master Qui-Gon's neck pop out any further. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.
Mari: He's like a little dictator, isn't he?
Bren: You have no idea. You've only seen a glimpse of his mush obsession. You take the front seat, I'll deal with them in the back.
(Brazo slowly lifted the speeder away from the plaza. Bren and Obi-Wan watched in amazement as Qui-Gon's face turned it's normal color and his breathing slowed to a regular rate.)
Bren: You okay, Stretch?
Qui: Yes. Much. Better. Thank. You.
Obi: Okay, I kept my end of the bargain. Time to ante up, Master.
Bren: Be gentle, Obi-Wan. He's had a traumatic experience.
Obi: So have I. I have been mush deprived for an entire day. Master?
Qui: Okay, okay. I'll hug you.
Obi: Somehow I thought this moment would be more meaningful.
Qui: It would be if you weren't so demanding.
Obi: Sorry, Master. I can't help myself. When you promised me a hug if I could fix the speeder, I guess I kinda got a bit wired.
Bren: The master of understatement.
Obi: Can I have a hug, Master? I promise it'll make you feel better.
Qui: Yes, you can. Come here, Padawan.
(Obi-Wan leaned over and against his master. Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around the small body and squeezed. He felt his apprentice almost turn lifeless in his embrace.)
Obi: Huh? Who? Wha? Who's there? Hello?
Bren: Kid, you okay?
Obi: This is good stuff, man. Can I stay here all day, Master?
Qui: Sorry, no. But it is a nice feeling. I should hug you more often.
Obi: Master, don't toy with my emotions like that. Just relax and enjoy the moment. There is something about hugs that just gets to me. Makes me so happy inside. Sometimes it makes me to happy and I go overboard. That's why Master Brazo went insane that one time and left the temple screaming. And that's why you left me for weeks to go on vacation...alone. And it's also why Nev has cut my sessions down to once a month. You guys just don't have the respect for mush that I do. It was born into me. My parents, whoever they were, must have been mush lovers. I don't know where else I could have gotten it from. I definitely didn't learn it from you, Master.
Obi: Yes, Master?
Qui: Shut up and enjoy the hug.
Obi: Yes, Master.
Bren: So, Mari. How long have you and Brazo been dating?
Brazo: Bren, please. That's such a personal question.
Bren: It is not. And stop blushing. Sheesh. You're like a teenager going on his first date.
Mari: Brazo came into the archives about a month ago wanting to do some research. He had trouble locating the exact area where particular files were located. So, since things were quiet that day, I could devote time to helping him.
Obi: Oh, you HELP him. But you just chew me out.
Qui: Shut up, Obi-Wan.
Mari: Anyway, one thing led to another and he asked me out to dinner and to a holo.
Obi: I'm just asking. Lima has some good date movies.
Qui: And you are watching those kind of movies?
Obi: Well...he's Lima. I have to.
Bren: Quiet. Both of you. Go on, Mari. Was it a Lima holo?
Mari: He makes me thud.
Obi: You too? Wow, what power he has.
Mari: I was talking about Brazo, not Lima.
Obi: Oh. Uh, sorry, Master Brazo. You don't make me thud.
Brazo: Can we change the subject please?
Bren: No. What holo did you see?
Mari: Silence of the Trolls.
Obi: Have the trolls stopped screaming? Wait, Lima wasn't in that one.
Mari: We'll we started to go see a holo with Lima, but it bored us to tears. Some holo called Trolls of New York. Don't waste your time.
Obi: Lima is not boring. Lima is...well....he's Lima. Don't talk bad about him.
Bren: Easy, kid. Qui-Gon, hug him again. Before he starts to get out of control.
Qui: He's never in control. Come here, Obi-Wan. One more hug.
Obi: Aaaaaaaaaaah. Wow. I could stay like this for the rest of my life.
Qui: Well accept the fact that this will end in about thirty seconds.
Obi: I know. But a kid can dream, can't he?
(The journey continued and eventually they made it to their destination. Coruscant Parklands. Obi-Wan convinced Brazo to put the convertible top down so that they could enjoy the semi-fresh air. They continued until they found a spot near a small lake.)
Obi: Should we get out here? Did we bring food? I'm hungry. Can we eat?
Brazo: Uh, food. Um.
Obi: Good thinking, Master Brazo. What if I starve to death? Then you'll have to live with the memory of my death for the rest of your life.
Qui: You can go a few hours with no food. You won't shrivel away to nothing. I promise.
Obi: Okay, but I am holding you to that.
Qui: Enough, Obi-Wan.
Bren: Here, kid. I brought a snack bar with me.
Obi: Thanks, Master Bren. You are always thinking.
Bren: Someone has to be the brains of this outfit.
Brazo: What shall we do? Take a walk through the forest? Sit by the lake?
Mari: I'll sit by the lake with you, Brazo.
Obi: Uh oh. The beginnings of adult mush. I can sniff that stuff out anywhere. If they are gonna sit by the lake, I am going the opposite way.
Bren: I don't know. Qui-Gon, that sounds kind of romantic.
Obi: Not you too? That'll leave me here all by myself. Do you know how much trouble I can get into when left alone?
Qui: He has a point, Bren. He'll have this entire park engaged in a hug-a-thon before we even get to the lake.
Obi: Now there's an idea.
Bren: Let's just take a walk then.
Brazo: Mari and I will stay here.
Obi: Alone. By the lake. I don't want to know. Let's go, Master. I can't bear to watch this.
Qui: Obi-Wan, one day you will enjoy adult mush of your own.
Obi: Don't say that. That's disgusting.
Bren: Come on, kid. I'll race you to the trees.
(A couple hours passed and the sun began disappearing behind the dark clouds. The Jedi felt several rain drops fall.)
Bren: I knew this would happen. We'd better get back before it the rain really hits. Those clouds look menacing.
(By the time they reached the speeder, the rain was coming down harder. They approached only to see Brazo, once again with his head stuck in the engine compartment. And behind him, Steevan Bluwool had reappeared. Mari was standing next to them both, looking most unhappy.)
Bren: Don't tell me. Brazo, have you given any thought to a new speeder? I mean just a suggestion, but it might solve this problem you seem to be having.
Steevan: Pull the red wire out and replace it with the blue.
Brazo: That never works. I tried that last week, remember?
Qui: I assume the fact that Mari is standing out here soaked, means that the top will not operate while the engine is stalled.
Brazo: You are a brilliant one.
Obi: That's my master!
Qui: That was not a compliment, Obi-Wan.
Obi: Oh. Sorry. So, we are stuck out here in the rain until we all fall deathly ill. And then, Master Brazo, you'll have to live with the deaths of all of us on your conscious for the rest of your life.
Qui: Would you cut that out. It's only water. You will not melt.
Obi: Hug me.
Qui: No. I don't hug wet padawans.
Obi: Or dry ones.
Qui: Or mouthy ones.
Bren: Boys, boys. Please. Let's just get this thing fixed and get out of the rain. Someone kick the front of the speeder. That worked before.
Brazo: Do not kick the speeder while my head is in here. Steevan, hand me the wrench.
Obi: Excuse me for asking, Mr. Bluwool, but where did you come from this time? You know you're really freakin' me out with this appearing and disappearing act that you've been pulling all day.
Brazo: Obi-Wan, right now that has nothing to do with anything.
Obi: You say that because you're not prone to nightmares like I am.
Steevan: Brazo, I believe that pliers will work better than a wrench.
Brazo: Ah, you know me to well. Yes, hand me those.
Obi: Master, my hair is a mess. Look at it. I look like a wet bantha. Hmm, but you look like you have a wet mop on your head. Are our sabers waterproof?
Qui: Obi-Wan, I've told you I don't know how many times to turn the power off on your saber when you are in or getting drenched by water.
Qui: Give me your saber.
Qui: It's shorted it out again, isn't it?
Qui: What if something had happened here, and we had to defend ourselves? What would you have done then with no saber to defend with?
Obi: Hide behind you?
Qui: You do that anyway. Which brings me to my other point...
Bren: Enough! Can't you two have a nice civil conversation for once?
Qui: Could you if you were his master?
Obi: It's not my fault that I have a master with weak social skills.
Qui: Oh, and having a padawan who talks non-stop twenty-four hours a day, and who's only concern is where his next hug is coming from, is easy?
Obi: I told you before, if you would hug me, I wouldn't have the desire to talk so much. I would be more content. But no, you wake up and go on about your day, training me like every other master trains his apprentice.
Qui: And what is wrong with that? I train you like others are trained. They don't have the problems that you do. From what I can tell, all other padawans in the temple are average, NORMAL, students. Willing to train and LISTEN to their master. They aren't obsessed with where their next hug is coming from. They are interested in learning. Now there's a new concept.
Obi: Master, I was born with a deficiency. It involves the need to be hugged. I can't turn it off. It just is. If you have a problem with this, perhaps you should let me go and find a padawan more to your liking. One who is quiet and boring. I will find another master to train me. He'll never take the place in my heart where you once were, but at least I'll be able to continue my training without fear that you will end up wearing a yellow robe and calling Mr. Nev your master.
(The rain became harder now. And the two arguing Jedi stood a few feet from the speeder, yelling back and forth. Bren was rolling her eyes. Brazo still has his head in the engine compartment. Steevan was offering one piece of advice after another. And Mari was now sitting in the speeder, arms crossed, counting the minutes silently to herself.)
Bren: Such a healthy master-apprentice relationship. Makes me want to take a padawan of my own.
Qui: Obi-Wan, all I want you to do is remember to turn off your saber when it rains. I'm not asking for the world. Just a simple request is all. It won't make a bit of difference if I hug you or not. That will not make you remember to turn off your saber.
Obi: Once again you are missing the point completely. This is not about sabers. This is about mush.
Qui: Yes, I know it's about mush. Everything you do is about mush. Every conversation I have with you, somehow or another leads to mush talk. Do you remember when I went on vacation not too long ago?
Qui: Do you know why I went on vacation, alone?
Obi: To get away from me.
Qui: Exactly. Do you want me to go on vacation again, alone?
Obi: No. What does this have to do with me getting a hug, Master?
(Qui-Gon took in a huge breath and let it out. Through the rain, he looked pleadingly at Bren who was busy just staring at the pair.)
Bren: Don't drag me into this. This is your battle. You're the one who accepted him as your apprentice. I just happened to be a friend of yours at the time.
Qui: Can't you explain to him about this mush stuff? Please, Bren. I feel my blood pressure rising again.
Bren: Okay, Obi-Wan. Your master doesn't hug well. You know that. And he's not always sure about when to hug. He can't hug on demand. Nor can he be concerned about hugs versus your training. Some way you will have to learn to calm these feelings you have. Can't you hug a pillow or something?
Obi: I just want my master to hug me. That's all.
Bren: I tried, Qui-Gon. The kid is yours now.
(A shout from the front end of the speeder caught their attention.)
Brazo: YES! Am I good or am I good? Listen to that baby purr. Everyone in.
Obi: Where did Mr. Bluwool go? It's fixed so he vanishes again?
Brazo: Don't worry about him, Obi-Wan. Get in the speeder.
Qui: Come, Padawan. You can sit next to me.
Obi: Are you sure? What if my arm touches yours? Will you launch into one or your anti-mush routines?
Qui: Get in the speeder.
Bren: Remind me next time I want to head out for the day, to do so alone. Obi-Wan, sit next to your master. We are all wet and cold. You are already shivering. Sit next to him and try and warm up. The last thing we need is a sick apprentice. Qui-Gon, be nice to him. Brazo, why haven't you put the top up yet?
Brazo: Uh...ah...it's stuck.
Mari: Maybe it would be better if we just got out and walked.
Brazo: I promise you, my dates don't usually go like this. They are usually much more relaxing and don't involve so many other people.
Mari: Well, since this was not a formal date, I think I can forgive you. But why do you hang out with these people?
Brazo: Bren and Qui-Gon have been friends of mine for many years. We were apprentices together. Obi-Wan was added later. Trust me, as strange as that relationship is, the boy is a great improvement over Qui-Gon's previous apprentice. Obi-Wan has his faults. And he can annoy you to no ends, but he means well.
Mari: I'll try and remember that the next time he and I have it out in the research room of the archives.
Bren: Brazo, stop slobbering on Mari and get the damn top up on this thing. I am drenched. Obi-Wan's teeth are chattering so loud, that I can't hear myself think. Qui-Gon is so cold, that he's actually hugging the boy to stay warm. I think we'd all like to go home now. Thank you for the lovely day out.
(Brazo got out of the speeder and began yanking on the cover that held the top in place while it was down. After ten minutes of yelling at the thing, it finally came loose. He jumped inside the slammed his hand onto the button to close the top. Slowly the top raised up and locked in place. For a few moments all that could be heard was the rain pelting the roof and the continuing chattering of Obi-Wan's teeth.)
(Now half-way home, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Bren were all beginning to feel the affects of the long exposure to the cold weather and rain. Obi-Wan hadn't spoken a word in the last hour. Qui-Gon had no current qualms about keeping an arm tucked around the boy, while both tried to keep warm. The big master had his other arm around Bren. The three of them were a sad site. In the front of the speeder, Brazo skimmed happily along his way back to the temple. He and Mari had taken advantage
of the quiet in the back to make plans for an evening out. Just the two of them. By the time they reached the temple, it was late in the evening. Brazo parked in first available spot he could find. Now all he needed to do was get everyone out of the vehicle in a nice calm manner.)
Brazo: We're home. Everyone wake up and get out.
Bren: Brazo, if I get sick because of this...
Obi: I don't feel good. Can someone hug me?
Qui: I've been hugging you for the past two hours.
Bren: Come on, Qui. We'd better get him home and into a warm tub. He looks kinda pale.
Qui: That's his normal color.
Bren: No, he looks paler than that. We're talking Larry Bird pale.
Bren: Never mind. Obi-Wan, let's go.
Obi: Can't...walk. Cold.
(Qui-Gon lifted the boy into his arms and began to follow Bren out of the docking bay. He turned back towards Brazo before he left.)
Qui: Thank you, Brazo. Today has been...entertaining. Goodnight, Mari.
(The trio departed leaving Brazo and Mari alone...at last.)
Brazo: Shall we get cleaned up and then go for a night on the town?
Mari: As long as it's just you and me. No mouthy padawans. No bitter masters.
Brazo: After you, my lady.
(Bren ran a warm bath for Obi-Wan while Qui-Gon stripped him of his damp tunics. At this point neither of them were sure who felt worse. But they felt obligated to make sure Obi-Wan was cared for first.)
Obi: Master Bren, you sure can run a mean bubble bath. Even my teeth are warm now. I still don't feel good though.
Bren: I think we're all going to be sick tomorrow, kid. I think it was all a ploy by Brazo to keep us out of his hair for a while so he can have his fling with Mari.
Obi: I hate being sick. Master Qui-Gon says I whine a lot.
Bren: He's on his way to being ill as well. In a few hours, we'll all be whining.
(Qui-Gon struggled into the bathroom to check on things.)
Qui: Obi-Wan, once you are warm enough, we need to get you into bed. Bren and I also need to use the tub.
Obi: Together? Eww, Master.
Qui: No. Not together. One at a time. But we only have one tub, so the longer you are in it, the longer it takes for each of us to get our turn.
Obi: Oh. Okay. Just a few more minutes. The minute I get out, I'll start shaking again. I have to prepare mentally.
Bren: Just think about mush. That's always enough to warm your soul.
Obi: I can't think about it. If I do, then I'll need it. And Master Qui-Gon doesn't want me talking about mush anymore.
Qui: You can talk about it. But don't overload my senses with it. And you have to learn to converse about other things. As much as you love to be hugged, there are other things in this galaxy that are more important.
Obi: Wow, you think so?
Qui: Yes. Trust me on this. Right now, I have an intense headache, and the last thing I want to do is get into a deep mush discussion with you.
Obi: I'm sorry, Master. I'm ready to get out of the tub now. Get out.
Qui: You won't fall over will you?
Obi: No. I'm okay for a few minutes. Don't need everyone looking at my pale naked body.
Bren: He's so cute when he's embarrassed.
Obi: I'm not embarrassed.
Bren: Then why are you are blushing?
Obi: Oh, um...
Bren: That's what I thought.
(Before long, Obi-Wan was in bed looking for that comfortable spot that would make all his aches and pains melt away. He was sick. No question about it. Tomorrow he would have to remember to thank Master Brazo for a wonderful day.)
Qui: Get some rest, Padawan. Tomorrow, we may both need a good dose of mush to get through the day.
Obi: Aw, Master. That's such a nice thought. But I don't know if I can hug very well when I am sick.
Qui: I think you'll manage just fine. Sleep well, Obi-Wan.
Obi: Goodnight, Master.
(Qui-Gon left his student's bedroom and then went to find Bren, now cuddled on the couch.)
Bren: I should go home.
Qui: Why? We can all be miserable together.
Bren: I know, but I sleep better in my own bed.
Qui: You can take mine. I'll sleep on the couch.
Bren: Qui-Gon. You know if Obi-Wan finds you out here on the couch in the middle of the night, he'll end up squeezing himself onto the couch with you. One of his secretive ways of getting a hug without you yelling at him.
Qui: Good point. Well, okay. Feel free to come by tomorrow morning. I'm sure we'll all be feeling about the same.
Bren: I'll be here. Goodnight.
(A quick kiss goodnight and she was on her way. Qui-Gon made his way for the bathroom, a nice hot bath, and then to bed. Not looking forward to what lay ahead. Revenge was such an ugly word. But somehow they just had to get back at Brazo for the events that transpired in the past day. Somehow. Someway. Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Bren would have their revenge. Brazo be warned.)